Wednesday, January 4, 2012

MSI XPOWER II (or: Cheating At Life)

I'm going to go the extra mile and include not just one, but THREE face melting images to burn into your retinas, all thanks to the artistic masters at MSI.

Feast your eyes on these babies. (Click 'em for full size)

First and foremost, you're probably saying "but, that's not a video card!" And you'd be right. I'm an adult. I'm willing to admit when I'm at fault. That is not a video card. It's a motherboard. It doesn't even have some crappy built-in video card which I can pretend exempts me from the rules of this blog. Whatever. 
You might then say to yourself "I refuse to pay attention to any more of this charade until you show me a goddamn video card box!"And that's entirely within your purview, go back to moderating Wikipedia.
For those of you who are cool with judging motherboard box art for a moment, let's check this baby out.
The theme of this box is clearly that of shattering all expectations. You expected some sort of crystal orb? HA! We smash your crystals to pieces! Shards in yo' face, fool!

How much power does this motherboard have anyway? X! That's how much! but that's not all, it's got that bitchin' II after it! Which makes me wonder if this is X to the power of II? or is it merely a Roman XII with "power" crammed in the middle? or perhaps it's X multiplied by II to give us XX? Hard to say. Only MSI can tell us for certain.

If you'll direct your attention to the back side of the box, you'll want to take notice of the feature just right of the "Super Pipe".  Notice anything unusual? Of course you did. There are SIX GOLDEN BULLETS strapped to this motherboard. Clint Eastwood would use this motherboard to take out punks on his front lawn, that's how badass MSI engineers are. Don't fuck with MSI engineers.

Let's check out the scorecard for this thing.

1 point for ice (or whatever that shattering material is)
2 points for energy bursts (one big one, one small one)
1 point for spikeballs (maybe? I dunno, it seems kinda spikey and ball-esque)
1 point for fire (there's some reddish firey glow in there, we'll count it)
2 points for X's, though if it's X to the power of 2, then who knows how many points this really is.
6 points for bullets. BULLETS. ON A MOTHERBOARD!

Total: 12


Assuming you're willing to concede the motherboard oversight, you may also be willing to stretch your mind a little further and check out this other gem of badassery from MSI.

HO LEE SHAZBOT.  Seriously. Click that image to see this badboy in all it's glory. The details and minutiae are staggering.

Mock stress marks on the edges? Check.
Mock communist propaganda? Check.
Random year in the future mentioned? Check.
Monster? Check.
Futuristic armored warrior? Check.
Fire? Check.
Gun? Check.
Crowd of rebellious looking refugees? Check.
Bullets on the mobo? FAIL.

It's no XPOWER II, but that artwork still bears some study. Glad to see they opted for the inclusion of bullets in the newer model. Any predictions for what features the XPOWER III will hold?


  1. Motherboards brobro, really??? Have you no respect for the protocols and rigamaroles?

    What's next.... "Starbucks Cup-Sleeve Box Art?"

  2. How much power does this motherboard have anyway? X!


  3. Hi. Thank for sharing this information but I want to know more about Nvidia graphics cards
    so please send me information.
    thank you ..

  4. Actually Metro 2033 is a pretty popular game as of this moment. The MB is just a reference to it, including all the armor, communist propaganda etc. Enjoyed the post though, made me LOL.